FEELINGS ARE TO BE FELT

FEELINGS ARE TO BE FELT

One day you're sad. And you have been sad for quite a long time now. You have stopped talking to people. Nothing holds a fraction of interest anymore. You're just breathing. You have become a robotic version of yourself who wakes up and does her regular chores but doesn't feel anything. You feel numb. You begin to question if you even deserve love. Every day you have to question yourself why is that. Why do you feel like that? Are you not enough? Enough for any single person to wait for you or stay with you while you feel broken or unworthy? You start taunting yourself for not doing enough and blame yourself for being the way that you are. Days go in a flash but these are the nights which haunts you the most. When it's daytime and sun is shining and you are not, you feel afraid. Afraid of the night that comes in a few hours of time and the way it would haunt you. When it's night, all the memories of the people who were dear to you comes back to haunt you. And you don't know what to do or how to suppress those feelings back in your mind. So, you just wait. Wait for the night to pass and cry throughout the night. And it hurts even more when you realize that there's no one to hold or to hug you so that everything could be a little bearable. And one day some one pops up in your life like a ray of sunlight coming through a cracked window of a dark room whose door has not been touched for a really long time. And that sunlight is not just that and the person is not just someone, he is much more than that. He is hope. He makes YOU hope that one day everything would be okay. He tells you how worthy of love and care and affection you always have been. And you are just an extraordinary stupid girl you realize that and even more stupid to wait someone to tell you that. He treats you like you are the only one who matters and the strongest person he has ever seen. And you smile. You fucking smile. And you know that you haven't smile in long, long while. You don't feel like the best version of yourself yet. Nobody does just like that. But you know you're better. You smile more than that you did. You have started talking. And now when you cry at night you know that there's someone to wipe your tears and hold you while you wreck yourself to tears. He is not an alien and he definitely didn't brought Paris to you. What he did was care, that nobody could. It's amazing how someone's smile could make you feel happy. Someone's touch can make you feel butterflies. And that's how you know. We are humans. We break each others heart and sometimes get our heart broken. We sometimes heal others by doing nothing but treating the other person right or sometimes have to go through the healing process ourselves. And as much as it is bizarre, it's fascinating as well. How much power we could give the other person to affect us. And how much we could possibly feel. Feelings are probably the core of human existence. It can be love, hate, hurt or care. Most of the people avoid feeling too much of these emotions. But isn't it the point of human existence? Of living our life?